A Woman’s Strength

I’ve always admired my mother and her journey in this game called life. I tell her all the time, “mom, you should share your story with other women because it’s inspiring.” My mom is not much of a writer, so she has not yet found her lane to reach back and share her story with other women. Luckily for her, I am a writer, and I decided to write a piece on my mother. She just turned 44 this past week, and as I look around her home, as I look around and see the woman my mother has grown to become, I can’t help but thank God for leading the way. What most parents forget is that your children are watching you. They see your struggles, your wins, and your growth. In me and my mom’s case, I watched her grow from a young teenage girl to an amazing woman.

My mother found out she was pregnant with me at the tender age of 17. She was a young teenager having fun with her then-boyfriend not realizing the consequences of her actions. At first, when she discovered the news, she contemplated terminating the pregnancy. If I am being completely honest, I do not blame her for considering aborting me. At the time my mother was being raised by my militant grandmother, they were barely making ends meet, and my mother had a promising future that did not involve raising a child. Or so she thought. The story goes, it was actually my father who convinced my mother to keep the baby aka me. The funny thing is, he has been physically absent since I was one-year-old. As a result of this, he was never able to take on the financial, and emotional support of a parent the way that my mom had to endure. That my friends is a story for another time.

So my mother decided to keep me. Thank God because I really like kicking sh*t up on this earth. I think for my mother, the hardest part back then was telling my grandmother she was pregnant. We all laugh today about how my grandmother found out. But some times when my grandma tells the story, I can still see the pain in her eyes. My mother and grandmother were out prom dressing shopping when my mother, or should I say when my mother’s belly broke the news. What should have been a beautiful bonding mother and daughter experience, turned out to be one of the worst days ever for both my mom and grandma.

Although my grandmother was disappointed in my mother, she accepted my mother and her growing belly and decided to help my mom raise me. My mama gave birth to a healthy baby girl on July 13th, 1994. 10 days later she celebrated her 18th birthday with her newborn baby in her arms. What a time. My mother quickly realized her high school education would not be enough to support her and her baby girl.

So a young mother determined to provide for her child began her search for a stable income. First, my mother tried telemarketing. When telemarketing wasn’t making ends meet, she tried bartending two nights out the week. By day she was a telemarketer, by night she was a bartender, and her number one job before all of this was being a mom. My mom attempted to go back to school several times before she actually was able to successfully complete a program. Can you imagine being twenty-something, with a high school education, little to no help financially, and trying to support a child?

She had to decide between school or putting food on the table. Naturally, school took a back seat for a while. I can remember a time my mom and I shared a room in our one-bedroom apartment in Calumet City, IL. What I did not know as a young child, is that my mom slept on the floor for the first few months in that apartment while I comfortably slept in a little bed. She truly was and is a selfless woman. No one, not even her own needs of needing a bed came before her child. Eventually, my mom found a job through a temp agency working at the registrar at an academic medical center. Little did young Toya know, this would be the start of her career in the medical field. Now I know some of y’all may be wondering “did she have a social life at all?” My mother was a mother first. Then a hustler second. When those two things allowed her some free time, she did her thing.

I can remember getting dropped off at my grandma’s house, and or my aunt Linda’shouse wondering where the heck my mother was going in her zebra pants and belly top. Yes, young Toya was a hot girl back then. She even dated too. This was obviously a challenging task because as a single mother, you have to be sure that the man you are dating is worthy enough to be around your child. I vividly remember the first real boyfriend my mom felt confident enough to bring around me. He took us shopping, and to the movies, he even took us on RV trips to Tennessee during the summers. This was such an amazing experience for me and the idea of traveling stuck with me forever.

Still temping, my mom landed a job as a medical biller. She then decided to go back to school to get certified in medical billing. Toya didn’t stop there. Once she got a taste of higher education and how it allowed her the opportunity to increase her income, she became even more determined to climb the corporate ladder. My mom went back to school to get her certification in medical coding. Finally, after receiving her high school diploma 9 years prior, in 2004 my mom started her bachelor’s degree program.

She took a job at a hospital working as a manager in their Department of Medicine. She had to juggle being a mom, and a student, while working a full-time job. But at this point in her career, Toya wasn’t new to challenges. She was ready to conquer any adversities she may face during her journey to success. She graduated from Loyola in 2008 with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Organizational Development Leadership. After completing her B.A, it was time for my mom to take on new adventures both professionally and personally.

My mom got married, and later gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Wanting to be closer to her now growing family, Toya accepted a job offer closer to her home at another hospital as a Director of Revenue Cycle. But that wasn’t enough for my mother. If you have not noticed by now, my mom never gets too comfortable with her success. She always strives for more on her journey called life. In 2009 she went back to school at Loyola to achieve her Master’s degree. She then went on to become An Executive Director of Revenue Cycle at a medical center. In 2012 she received her Master’s of Jurisprudence in Healthcare Law. This is the same year she sent her firstborn child aka me off to college. What a woman.

My mom eventually went on to get remarried and have another healthy baby boy. In her current role, she is now the VP of business operations. She also owns two properties, one of which she currently rents to tenants, and she is optimistic about buying more rental properties in the future. I have no doubt she will accomplish this goal and more.

My mother faced many obstacles in her life, but she never let them get in the way of her success. Let her story be an inspiration and a reminder to us all that no matter how hard this life game gets, with prayer, faith, and hard work, you can do anything you set your mind to. “Dear queens, decide, plan, execute.” -LaToya McGhee