Real Men Volume I

Editor: Melanie Carden

Trust Me; I’m a Real Man 

Ladies, the thoughts outlined below provide insight into the mindset of most real men, not just  any man. It is up to you to determine into which class your mate falls. Being a ‘real’ man is an  ever-changing evolution, I have been working on it for over fifty years. I believe real men, like  real heroes, never really ask to be—they just are. Their focus is never on being right but doing  

what is right. The real man looks first on family and friends—and most importantly, on the love  of his life. My daughter, a junior in college, once told me in front of her friends that because of  me she “knows how a woman is supposed to be treated by the man she loves.” What better  accreditation could a man receive? 

Just to be clear, the term real is not meant to imply that we are without faults; our heart is usually  in the right place even if our actions and words fall short. Real men do not strive for perfection,  but we do strive to be perfect for you. In this new world of iPads, iPods and Facebook, old  beliefs and behaviors have had to be altered as well. 

These rules generally only apply until you ladies indicate otherwise. And, no, these have not  been approved by my girlfriend. Yet! 

His Friends 

Ladies, he will not treat his friends the same way you treat yours. Your man may or may not  return their calls. He will not cater to them when they come to your home for parties. He will  point to the refrigerator and tell them to get their own damn beer. Your partner doesn’t care what  they want to watch on his TV or listen to on his iPod, music channel or music system. If he runs  out of something to drink during the party at your house he will send them to the store to get  more. He makes them call before the come over because he knows it drives you crazy when they  don’t. A real man has no problem telling them to get out. Rarely will he and his friends ever plan  very far ahead. Usually, a day’s notice is enough.  

This man I speak of, though, does take note of what his friends are wearing—more than he will  let you know. He will never ask their opinion about any relationship troubles—even the type and  color of a new car that the two of you cannot agree on. His friends know and respect that he will  not make any major or minor decision without talking to you first, even though they will give  him a hard time about it. Your man loves following your direction. Above all else, it is about  making you happy. Though his friends may give him a hard time sometimes for asking  permission, they understand because they do the same. Which is why they are his friends.  

Television 

It is a blessing if you agree on what to watch on TV. Enjoy and cherish those moments when  they occur and thank the heavens that there is a TV in the other room when they don’t. But, generally, but when you are watching together he will scan every channel in an attempt to find  something to watch that you both will enjoy. Your gentleman will learn that this gets on your  nerves, and will learn faster if you simply tell him it gets on your nerves. 

Your man is not looking for what to watch on TV, he is in search of what ‘else’ to watch on TV.  He really does not mind watching the Hallmark channel, American Idol or Oprah. He will watch  almost anything as long as he can watch it with you. Expecting him to pay real attention is  something he has to work on. He will never—and excuse me—understand why you both bought  that 90 inch plasma high definition home entertainment system with surround sound to watch  Lifetime movies.  

Generally, he likes watching sports on TV. Sports means football (college and pro), baseball,  basketball (pro and some college), and depending on the city, maybe hockey. Despite Tiger, he  doesn’t really like golf, though he will watch tennis from time to time. Women’s tennis. There are  a couple of golden times of the year for several sports on TV. Of course, as his lady-love you  know exactly when those times are for which sports (hint: if you are not, simply scroll through  the ESPN website). This issue notwithstanding, with ESPN he really isn’t as upset as he makes  out to be if he has to miss a game to go out for dinner, shopping or attend a concert with you. 

Alone Time 

He struggles with this concept from time to time. It is much easier for him to understand and  accept when he is sure that your alone time does not mean time you need alone because you are  upset with him. Once that is understood he is better than ok with it. All he needs then is a clear  signal of when your alone time is over so he does not impose. Stay tuned for Volume II which will include, picking a movie, your mother and the new man  chores.